For the Exclusive,
Proma Ajoy Shil
The ephemeral passage through our 20s is a labyrinthine journey for adults, with hues of excitement, uncertainty, and relentless introspection. In the gossamer threads of youth, we find ourselves poised upon the precipice of adults grappling with the weighty mantle of responsibilities while still ensnared in the whimsical embrace of youthful exuberance.
The passage from youth to adulthood is a true furnace of change during which we are shaped into new beings by the fires of hardship and self-discovery. Therefore, as we make our way through the maze-like passageways of the 20s, we face the difficult challenge of balancing the idealised version of youth with the harsh realities of the outside world.
Our 20s are the time for trial and error, tied to a sense of boundless possibility and the promise of untold adventures and unforeseen opportunities.
It’s a time of unbathed exploration and experimentation, wherein we have awarded the luxury of charting our course, unfettered by the constraints of convention, so this transition is not easy. It’s a time filled with uncertainty where you’re figuring out who you are while also dealing with the pressures of adulthood, the idealistic career path, relationships, and our place in the world, and our place in the world.
It’s a period of intense growth and change, with a fair share of ups and downs. Despite the challenges, it’s also a time of opportunity where we have the freedom to shape our future. The 20s are designed to build ourselves. It’s a steady progression that’s acquired with patience.
Creating a mental picture of how you "have it together" or "figured out" seems to be the most crucial thing in the world. I promise you that if someone appears to have everything "figured out," they are either deceiving the outside world or themselves.
In your 20s, you should also unlearn, cut ties with people you've outgrown, relinquish restrictive beliefs you've absorbed, and part from mediocre relationships and work you don't enjoy doing. At that point, you will realise that you are creating space for real life to start. When we were younger, the safety of family and school shielded us from the harsh realities of the outside world. We didn't know how things actually functioned outside of our familiar surroundings. With innocence as our guide and ignorance as our shield, we ventured forward, unaware of the challenges awaiting us outside our bubble.
Make the most of your 20s to shape the person you will become in the future. In what sincere manner would you lead your life? How terrified are you going to be, and how long will you let your inner devils to rule you?
So, don't think too much and don't waste your twenties trying to convince yourself that things will get better or easier—trust me, they won't.
As someone in their early 20s, I can attest that, based on my experience so far, nothing improves or becomes simpler unless you sincerely believe in its improvement and put up the effort to make it so.
Now the question arises: “Is your 20s the worst decade of your life?”
Personally, the 20s are the decade of your life where you start from scratch. The road may be arduous and fraught with peril, but it is through our struggles that we emerge like Dumbledore’s Phoenix, reborn and revitalised, ready to face the boundless possibilities that lie ahead.
We were dreamers and idealistic in our adolescence, and many of us aspired to become something that society may not approve of, so we sacrificed our goals to fit into "their" perfect world. Why? Why do we need their validation?
In your twenties, you must realise that you cannot dazzle everyone. Leave the people-pleasing mindset and the imposter feeling behind; you are no longer an entry-level rookie, and you must remember this. You're going to learn and explore. As you discover that the world does not end when you are disappointed in someone or when someone is disappointed in you, you get enough perspective to be grateful that certain relationships did not work out the way you wanted them.
You have enough perspective about life; you go through the hard stuff without worrying about the loss or rejection, and then you keep going on.
You realise that these big, scary things we imagined are not big and scary once you have gone through them.
You lose friends, you make new ones, you fail in some ways, you learn, you find success, and you realise it isn’t everything; success and failure are not the only things in life.
Society has set up a system of rewards that go beyond material goods. These consist of titles, social recognition, position, and political power all bundled into a package known as self-fulfillment. As a result of being drawn to these incentives and continuing to follow societal pressure, people spend their brief lives chasing these objectives, which wears out their bodies and causes mental chaos. Why do we require that validation, that confirmation that we are something? Because this culture doesn't accept us for who we are, why do we have to adhere to standards designed for individuals in their 20s? We are oscillating between being treated like teenagers and adults. We spend so much time attempting to please society, even if it doesn't accept us for who we are.
The reality is, that we’re still trying to navigate this maze called adulthood, often feeling like we’re stumbling in the dark. It's a time filled with contradictions. On the one hand, we pray for independence and freedom, and we want to spread our wings and explore what the world has to offer us, yet at the same time, we are grappling with the responsibilities and pressure that come with growing up: paying bills, finding a job, maintaining adult relationships, going through the journey of finding friends who are not toxic, work-life balance, and then there’s the constant comparison game that we play with ourselves. We see our peers achieve milestones: these consist of titles, social recognition, position, and political power all bundled into a package known as self-fulfillment. As a result of being drawn to these incentives and continuing to follow societal pressure, people spend their brief lives chasing these objectives, which wears out their bodies and causes mental chaos. Why do we require that validation, that confirmation that we are something? why do we have to adhere to standards designed for individuals in their 20s by the society? We are oscillating between being treated like teenagers and adults. We spend so much time attempting to please society, even if it doesn't accept us for who we are.
So try not to fall into the well of imposter syndrome, in the well of fulfilling societal needs and society, and, you know, succumbing in society under suicidal pressure. Your 20s teach you that life gets easier when you get better. When you can relate to others, they become amiable. Kindly work becomes easier when you can relax into it. A little bit of competition is less threatening when your ego is pining after security and success. Life gets more enjoyable when you realise you’re not going to die, you’re not going to always fail, you’re going to find love, and you’re going to be OK. You are going to be OK.
Growing up means realising that there’s nothing more important than you. There’s nothing more important than self-improvement and self-love, so drop that ego and drop the thought that the world is a battlefield and you have to always be ready for war. You don't.
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